I was wondering what to write about this week, and I think Human Companionship is a good subject. I recently joined Ourtime, a dating service for people over 50 - ouch! I finally have to admit I'm getting older. I hate the thought of it, but it is reality. And I joined it because I want some companionship. I have my longtime friends, but we're mostly in different cities. Thank God for phones. I have some family here, but not all, and they have their own lives. I even have a roommate, but we have our separate lives. She is from Sri Lanka, and is very close to her community here.
I have noticed in my own life that when I spend too much time alone, I have different emotions, attitudes, etc. and it's not too healthy for me, probably not for anyone. I have seen and known people, especially older people, that have gone way down hill because of being alone and lonely. It's harder to get jobs when you're older, especially in 2015, then you spend more time alone and it can really get anti-social with some people. But I'm not going to get into the larger, societal issues here.
I have always been a very independent person. When growing up, I always had friends. I went to a Catholic school, where I always had friends, but my best friend, on the same block, went to the public school. So I always had a friend outside of the social group. I also have five siblings, so there was usually company at home. We had a disciplined childhood, but, even though I had time to think, read and write poetry, I was used to a life around people.
Many people are married and have families, which is the life my parents had, but mine has been different. As I've gotten older and have had to move to other cities for good jobs, I spend a lot more time alone. It started when I worked for Samsonite, I spent four nights out of five in a hotel room for three years. It is a big change when you are used to being around friends or family. And, when most of my friends were meeting someone and getting married, I was working. Then I moved to NYC and worked there for four years. After that I worked in the tech industry in California. It is difficult to meet people when you are outside the community that you are living in. I didn't always choose the move, but I did follow my 'career'. Luckily for me, my family and friends have always come to visit me wherever I lived; I always say my jobs gave them places to visit ;>) I have always needed some down time from people to think, write, etc., but it has to be balanced with human companionship.
This is only my second week doing the dating site, but I've met some good guys: some in person, some out of state that I chat with, some that I joke with, some that I know I'll never meet. But it is human companionship; better than not having it. Like I said, I even have some family and a roommate here, so I have more than some, but I still want more! Even for someone as independent as I, human companionship is necessary and healthy. It can be hard to meet someone you have something in common with, especially if you've had a hard life, but I am willing to try. That's all I can do.
I wish everyone human companionship and warmth this Holiday Season.