I thought it was odd that Jesus wouldn’t tell me first. I am usually the one he turns to, for help, when things go bad for him. I visit him when he’s in jail which, unfortunately, has been too often. I advocate/ mentor for Jesus and his 3 brothers, (For context, see previous blogs, “All Life is Sacred”, “Other People’s Lives”, “My Eventful Day”, “Recognizing and Appreciating Life’s Small Accomplishments”, “The Importance of Having Fun and Being Happy“ & “On Being Hopeful and Hope-filled”) so when I heard that Jesus was going to be a dad, I was a little shocked, to say the least. For the year that he was living with me, I was always the one that was giving him condoms before he went out. Having the talk and trying to make sure he always had protection. And Wow, you got a girl pregnant! It’s no wonder he didn’t want to tell me ! I ended up finding out from his brothers.
He was afraid to tell me because of the way he thought I would react. His oldest brother was teasing him, saying stupid things like “I want you to get a blood test to make sure it’s yours” and other similar things so he thought I might react the same way. Of course, I didn’t. I was actually calm when Jesus arrived. We had planned to get him a replacement ID, as he had lost his, so he came over. I greeted him at the front porch and asked him to follow me so we could talk in private, just he and I. I started by telling him how serious and important his future has now become and about his future responsibilities. I reminded him how precious life is and the wonderful opportunity he has before him; I helped him to understand his obligations, if he wants to be an active part of the baby’s life. I also reminded him that if he wanted to get a blood test that it was his business, and his business, only. He made a poignant statement, “I don’t want to be like my dad. I want to be there for the baby’. And I really hope he is!
The baby is due on November 24. The parents have agreed to raise the baby at their house (Thank God). Jesus hasn’t met the parents yet. They know about his reputation for being in and out of jail and they are understandably not impressed. As of this writing, that has yet to be resolved.
Jesus (R) with his brother Miguel. Photo taken 3 days ago
I see my role as Jesus’ mentor/ advocate changing. The 2 most important people in this equation now are the baby and the baby’s mom. She needs to be a strong woman and make sure that only good, positive influences are near her baby. I hope that includes Jesus. It is my heartfelt prayer that Jesus can play the good dad part, that he so desperately wants to play. For that to happen, he will have to change his focus from me to we. From past experiences, that may be a tall order but I am eternally hopeful! It’s not just about you anymore, my friend JJ.